This Life as I see it

That's today. It just feels rough. I try to remind myself that THAT feeling doesn't come from God. He doesn't give me stress and worry, he gives Peace. My worry is my lack of trust in His plan... that's a 'me problem' and something I will FOREVER have to pray about and work on. Faith...ya'll, it's so real. Give me MORE Lord, let me feel your presence today. Cover me in peace and remind me that you are with me. That your plan was written SO SO long ago, I can trust in YOU to get it right. It's not on me to put the pieces together, take away my stress and let me rest in you. SO. HARD. It's the day to day hardness of trying to juggle two children, keep my house clean, take care of myself, stay in my devotion, work part time, trying to be a better friend, trying to love well while feeling as though I may blow a gasket... like my head might REALLY just fly off my shoulders... finances, baby needs and the nesting that comes with it, maki...

We have a friend who is an amazing musician- don't you just love those friends?! I have been wrapped up in his latest CD where he sings that "No Story Is Over". I listened to this song a solid 15 times trying to really figure out why it struck such a chord in my being. The song talks about how the curtains close, the lights go off, and everyone scatters. They make their way “back to the city to live and dream to see the world through all that we’ve seen.” I envision meeting someone, hearing their story, stamping a label on their forehead and being done with it. How often do we do that?? "Do you know Sarah?" "Oh yeah, I went to high school with her... she was a cheerleader and dated John. She was wild... she's still friends with Liz." Suddenly we think we know exactly who Sarah is! She's some wild cheerleader who likes guys who four wheel and listen to Skynrd. Since Liz went to rehab 5 years ago, Sarah must be a strung out junkie these day...

Life is hard.  Like all of the time hard.  There are breaks, of course, but the hard times feel REALLY hard, right?        The last year has by far been the toughest of our lives. We have had not just ups and downs but mountains to climb and ditches we've fallen into. The mountains have been covered in snow with no trails. They've been overgrown with vines and prickly bushes. It's been hard to find water, we've had no way to purify it. Food has been scarce and we haven't had the resources to survive... BUT WE HAVE! The ditches have felt so so so deep as if there is no way out... but... WE'RE OUT. SO much filth... so much mess... and yet the most peaceful I have ever felt in my life. Funny how that works. This process has been super confusing. It seems as though every single day you recieve a new piece of information. On Monday you get GREAT news and on Tuesday your world crumbles for a few minutes until you can get your footing again. ...