I try.
I REALLY try!
I remember I used to fantasize about being a 1950's housewife (so much so that my counselor even knows allllll about it). I pictured my children waking up to the smell of bacon, cutting sandwiches into sweet little crustless hearts and leaving handwritten notes in each lunch box. Every evening faced, well-manored children would dive into daddy’s arms as he walks in briefcase in hand. I would kiss him gently and tell him to put his feet up and turn the news on while I handed him an icy mugged beer and pulled bread from the oven. My lips would be glossed, I would have a new strappy dress on and my house would match my appearance. Fresh cut flowers to greet any and all guests as well as the smell of lavender candles and dim lights. After saying hello, we would walk around and admire my home, my garden, my art.
FOR REAL, EMILY? GET A REAL JOB.
I mean... THAT is ridiculous.
This is real life: I pick up in the morning, I start some laundry, get the dishwasher loaded, sweep the floors and head out for some energy burning fun with the babes before lunch. We come home for lunch and get ready for naps and suddenly- MY HOUSE IS TRASHED. Like... HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN? Everyone naps, we wake up and come up with an afternoon activity that often involves having a friend come and play.
When I first got married, my house was SPOTLESS before anyone entered. I had the flowers, the candles, even the cool art and garden. I wouldn't even invite anyone over unless I knew I had plenty of time to get my life together first... that perception was what I craved. I needed people to see me that way to feel accepted... accomplished... the world needed to know that I had it together and that I was a good wife.
Now, I'm not saying I don't take pride in my "things"... but I am saying that "things" don't matter to me as much now as they did then. I am SO imperfect and I have no energy to pretend otherwise. It's so freeing to live a life of truth... a "take me as I am" motto. Really, take me as I am... if you don't like me, let's iron that out now- no hard feelings ya'll.
It's exhausting to pretend to be something you aren't and what's the point? What do you have to prove?
It's been a learning process for me to say "SURE! Come on over!" when my house is trashed and a friend asks to bring dinner. But... this is ME. This is US! And having people who love us and want to be around us is so precious. Why would I prioritize my appearance and the perception of my family over having community who wants to take me as I am, who loves us for US? <-- UNCONDITIONAL love... loving for who you are... under any circumstance... open armed... no stipulations. WHAT A GIFT.
Today I've got a little challenge for ya... it will likely make your skin crawl a bit.Accept a friend's kindness, let them do the dishes or bathe your child. Let them see you without your mask on and in your YOU-ness. It's a gift you will give not only yourself but that person who just wants to show you their love. Afterall.. that's what it's all about, right?
Spread the love and raise kind humans, it's all we can do.
xoxo
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